Musical Hangovers Bring Gender Role Enlightenment

Original Post February 2007

Whatchu gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk.

This has by far been the most fulfilling weekend I've had in a long time, and it's not over yet. I'm currently at work during Family Day, and there are a ton of little rugrats running around listening to stories about art and doing arts and crafts. It's absolutely amazing, I wish every day were like this. From behind the information desk, it's a special treat to watch kids interact with their parents, each other, etc in a chaotic yet serene environment. I'm impressed.
The past two days have done something for me that I've been missing terribly for a while. Ever since I stopped throwing parties I've been dissatisfied. Cooking and hosting on Friday evening reminded me of what is actually meaningful to me.
I got into a conversation about whether or not it's important for me to be a prominantly vocal intellectual presence in an organization that sets out to do so. At this point, I realize that it is more importatn for me to uphold certain standards of behavior and the intellectual work I do should be apparant but not obvious and definately not advertised. In fact, I find myself abhorred more often than not by those who hold everything on the surface and leave nothing to be discovered. Nothing should be hidden, but silence an anonymity are underrated these days. However, making myself a more intellectual presence is necessary, and it's time to challenge myself to be such without compromising my beliefs on feminity.
It wasn't until lately that I figured out that I have old-school beliefs about gender roles. And it wasn't until recently that I've figured out exactly why they didn't seem to make sense before. Indeed, how can I be feminine in respect to a man if that man is not fulfilling his own role. The fact that men now act less manly is what is to blame for this abomination that is the current female role of weakness, stupidity and gracelessness.
Grace. Again, so underrated these days and so rare.

Enough of this tangent however. Keeping things mundane. I cooked and hosted on Friday. Yesterday, I drank and danced and had a blast. This morning, I was ready for work, dehydrated and with a musical hangover. I've had the Black Eyed Peas and Sean Paul in my head all morning. I'm ready to have my own dance party here at the information desk.

Tonight will be filled with creating. Actually, the next week will be an intense creating session, which may be exactly what I need. It's been so long since I've done art in any intense form, but after putting it off so long, I feel ready for that. Someday, I'll be able to figure out how to communicate.